Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Mommy Rage, interrupted

Don't you just hate it when you spend and entire weekend preparing a thoughtful, intelligent yet strongly-worded SMACK DOWN against your child's teacher for a very big mistake he/or she made on Friday, only to have the very crafty mo-fo completely cut you off at the knees and take the wind out of your sails?

(Sorry for the multiple metaphors, and pleased be advised that thankfully there has been no lasting or overwhelming damage done to the Bookworm)

On Friday afternoon, Bookworm's usually lovely teacher SCREWED.UP.ROYALLY. She allowed the class to play in the forbidden zone of the schoolyard during recess because they had done such a great job at their 'Mock Trial' presentation the night before. (another post coming on that evening soon..) This particular area is currently forbidden because of the remaining snow and ice piles scattered here and there. Safety issue, y'know. The kids were bored with the 'safe area', so she let 'em loose. First thing she did was warm them NOT to run, jump or act idiotically on or near the ice patches. Most of them complied.

My Bookworm, of course, did not. The jungle gym entrance was mostly blocked by a smallish ice pile. ALL of the other kids who played there stepped carefully around it on the way back in. MY daughter decided it would be much more fun to leap over it. Of course, she caught the very back of her foot on the ice, and went flying.

She landed HARD on her butt and then fell back onto her back, giving herself quite a jarring fall. I can't say I blame the teacher for being angry with her, but still...

Bookworm complained to her when they got in that her chest was hurting. The teacher told her "too bad, your own fault, you should have listened. Do you really want me to get into trouble and the other kids to miss out on future recess because you ran on the ice?"

OH MY GOD. That was at ONE O'CLOCK. Bookworm sat at her desk and suffered in silence, because she was embarassed, until 2:30. Did I get a phone call? NO. At 2:30 she asked to go to the nurse again, her chest really hurt. The teacher, realizing that maybe she really was hurt, was now stuck. Bus time was in 5 minutes. She gave my kid the choice of going to the nurse and missing the bus, or coming home to tell me when she got here. The bookworm, of course, came home. Again, NO PHONE CALL.


The Bookworm is okay, x-rays are clear. She landed on her tailbone, smacked down on the bottom of her ribcage in the back, which put too much strain on her ribcage. Luckily she did not break any ribs, she did, however, pull sympathetic muscles and possibly separated cartilage around her sternum. All is mostly okay, she is just in pain. We now have chiro appts 3x a week for a while, and we need to buckle her shoulder belt in the car - she can't do it herself. I am thankful.

BUT PISSED. I sent in a note, explaining that I needed the teacher to call me. I was soooooooo ready to really rip her a new orifice or two. My mamma bear self-righteous rage had been building all weekend. The phone rang...

Teacher : Hi Mrs Bookworm's Mom.
Me: About Bookworm's accident on Friday...
Teacher : First, let me say, I AM SO SORRY. I made a bad judgement call on not sending her to the nurse. I was angry, you know how impulsive she can be, and in anger I used poor judgement. I honestly kept thinking about this all weekend. I apologized to Bookworm this morning. I NEVER should have made her feel responsible for the class, and I truly did not realize there was a true injury. I thought she was being a little dramatic, but I made a mistake and I am sorry.
ME: Uh, but, (pause) okay, I hope this never happens again.
Teacher: Absolutely, Bookworm is not a chronic complainer, I should've known better, and if she sneezes twice in class again I will send her to the nurse no matter what.
Me: Um, okay. I would however have appreciated a phone call about the incident as well, without having to write you a note (still hoping for even a little rage-venting)
Teacher: You sent me a note? Bookworm didn't give it to me.



Greenthumb said...

Oh how I hate unvented rage. You're truly fortunate to have that teacher though. Ya, she f'd up, but the fact that she did that soul search etc, shows that she truly cares. Sorry Bookworm had to suffer though, that sucks.

Remember the mantra...Don't Hate, Masterbate, or as I so dorkily put it today on Dooce...MATerbate.

mrtl said...

My heart sunk reading your post. It's too easy to imagine something like that happening now that I'm a parent.

I'm sorry you didn't get to vent the rage. Try screaming into a sink full of cold water. Or masturbate, like Greenie said.

Colleen said...

man, i'm mad reading your post, and maybe no masturbation is a better idea, since you may inflict damage upon gentle structures.

poor bookworm. i hope she's feeling better.

Random and Odd said...

I echo mrtl on the hear sinking.

I would have freaked out and...well, probably did the same thing.


LadyBug said...

Ooooh, I just hate when someone one-ups my rage like that. I'll have the whole thing worked up in my head, exactly how it'll go down, what I'll say, what the other person will say, etc. And then...POOF! Gone!

And I know you must've been grateful that the teacher DID realize he/she was wrong, apologized, etc., because that's SO fortunate for Bookworm's sake. But still...didn't you just want to go find a punching bag to vent your rage on?

I'm glad everything worked out, and Bookworm was not hurt too badly.

I should mention that, when I was reading your post, I was thinking that sounded a lot like my Drama Queen...impulsive (check), a little dramatic (check), not exactly following directions (check), forgetting to give teacher the note....well, you get the idea. I feel like we're kindred spirits now. Hehe.