I really was NOT complaining during my last post, just summarizing only SOME of the crazy/sad/scary things going on around here lately, but the Gods of ' Oh yes it can be worse' didn't understand. First, three weeks ago, I got slammed with a five-day bout of vertigo. Yech. Then, after that cleared, and I dared to think I was health-wise in the clear, I woke up one morning nearly blind in my right eye, and a little askew in my left. It's called optic neuritis, and it is a VERY common MS symptom. Essentialy, the fore-mentioned Gods thought they would spice things up for me.
Again, to any Gods who may be listening, I am NOT complaining. I can walk, talk, and to all intents and purposes, I am otherwise fine. I refused my neuro's suggestion of entering the hospital for three days to be given steroids via IV, and really just needed to take a few weeks on the slow side. I couldn't drive for a while, and I have been wearing polarized lenses to stave off the pain caused by light sensitivity, but all-in-all it has been doable. Don't ask my mom or sis, or the Brit hubby, by the way because they will surely lie and tell you I was a sniveling, cursing, cranky, frightened mess. So not true.
One thing I did have a problem with however. I could NOT READ. I was like a junkie going throgh withdrawl. You know the saying " You don't know what you've got until it's gone?" Well, yeah. GAH
Anyway, long story short, I am now reading in short bursts, and still styling with the Bono-type shades on all of the time, but you would not believe the bloglines queue I need to catch up on. I have 49 feeds, and most have about 6 or 7 entries remaining for me to read. One of my faves, however, has 26. Really. Yeah, I'll get there. And I can't wait.
Every time I have the temerity to state, aloud or just in my head, "ENOUGH", life just keeps getting rougher. I love my life, my family, and my friends. They collectively are the only things keeping me from losing it completely lately.
In October 2003, my life decided to become one great big roller-coaster. On the same day, my Grandfather entered the hospital after collapsing on a cruise ship while away with my parents, and needed a cardiac velve replacement and my dear BritHubby got in a horrible motorcycle accident while riding in North Carolina. I live in New Jersey. Ahem.
Two days later, my dear,dear Dad and I drove down to Asheville, NC together to collect the hubby and dispose of his beloved bike. A probably very nice lady had decided that she NEEDED to turn left into a parking lot, directly into his pathe. He managed to avoid crossing the double yellow, nailing a tree, or dumping the bike, therefore managed to stay alive, still covered with real skin, and only broke his leg while t-boning her car and cruishing his leg between the bike and her door post. Several pins, rods, and stitches later, he was ready to come home. The warmth and caring shown by the Surgeon, hospital staff, and the group he was on the sponsored ride with will never be forgotten. Neither will the circle of support we received from The Bookworm's teachers and our friends. My parents and my sis took the cake, however. They moved in alternately, helping me cook, clean, change dressings, and distract my kids. I so love them.
My sis was finally pregnant, after trying for several years, and seemed to be doing well. Suddenly, she found herself in the hospital having developed alarming signs of very early labor. The lil guy was due in February, but after many many inconclusive tests and lots of failed attempyts at keeping him in, the munchkin was born on December 16, 2003. He was two pounds, 8 ounces. No kidding. I kept finding myself thinking thins like, "hey, it could be worse." And it could.
Many many other medical disasters occurred frequently since then, all non-life threatening and fixable, for the most part. My kids have had their share, but nearly everyone is on the mend. I kept plugging along, avoiding somehow, massive MS flare-ups from the stress.
6 weeks ago, my dear dear brother-in-law found a big lump in his neck. After constant reassuring from docs that he was fine, the biopsy came back positive for malignant melanoma, which means it is already spreading. Just when we heard it seemed not to have spread beyong the one set of lymph nodes and was treateble with interferons, and had started to breathe again, his surgeon called him in again to tell him in essence "whoops, I missed something.:
He has four tumors in his brain. Malignant melanoma mobed from his skin, to his lymph system and then to his brain. In essence he has a 13% chance of surviving 5 years.
He is 44. And is one of the most caring, loving fathers to two pre-teen boys I know. And we love him. I can't type anymore. I feel so helpless. I have no idea what to say to him, or what to do.
Honestly, there is just SO.MUCH bad stuff going on around here lately, I hesitate to write about it. I hesitate to even think about most of it. I am fine, well mostly, and my IMMEDIATE family is fine (thankgodknockwood) but so much other stuff is going on my head can't stop spinning.
Trying to just breathe lately. Forgive me. Be back soon, if intermittently.
In the meantime, this just made me smile, for 5 minutes. it's woth a look y'all. Make sure your volume is up.