First, I want to thank you all for the lovely posts and email responses to my return. I feel a little bit like Sally Field.
I tend to isolate when the depression hits. I got very lucky this time. I am blessed with a really teriffic hubby, but he was just letting me get on with things and not mentioning anything about how down I was, or how messy the house was getting. Not one damn thing. I think he was just hoping I would 'snap out of it' without him having to confront me. The guy is great, but he IS BRITISH after all.
It was my mom, again, who helped me realize my situation. She called one day, chatted for a minute or two, and then said "Are you really okay? You have not called me in a while."
My mother and I are very close. We normally talk at least once a day, even if only briefly. She was right. I had stopped calling, and wasn't even checking my email. I am so grateful she got concerned and had the guts to confront me about it. She does that sort of thing all of the time. The woman is literally my hero, the gutsiest lady I know.
On Sunday, she will not be getting any sappy Mother's day cards from me. She will be getting the best "Thank You" card I can find. Over the years, since adolescence, my mother has stuck up for me when doctors told her I was fine, not sick, or a hypochondriac, or on drugs, the list goes on. Somehow she knew that something else was going on, and kept digging until we got to the bottom of it. She has helped me pull myself out of the bleakness of depression several times, even when I wanted to hate her for it, and never EVER gives up on me.
MS causes incredible fatigue sometimes, and I think the fatigue and depression many many MS patients experience are definitely connected. Luckily for me, I was slipping into another depressive period, but hopefully my mother helped me recognize it soon enough to turn things around.
I only wish I knew why I isolate myself. I have missed the blog world so much. I just didn't realize it until now.
Again, thank you all.